lost & found

One year out of high school and life is much different. While on a roller coaster of ups and downs, I have realized a lot about myself: my strengths and weaknesses, what I want out of life, and especially what I have lost and found.

One year out of high school and I have lost great friends. Friendships that have faded out with time or distance; friendships that were only strong due to being in each others daily lives via school. I have lost a sense of time- a schedule, a routine. The days have become lazier and more relaxed. I have lost a lot of creativity and inspiration. My elective classes in high school really helped to keep me on my toes with ideas and being able to pursue them. In AND out of school I was constantly challenging myself to excel with a photo project, a painting, a song on the piano or even a yearbook page spread. Without those classes there are no assignments to tug at my creativity. Without those amazing teachers I am no longer inspired on a daily basis.

However, with any hardship comes experiences and lessons learned. Deep within the vast layers of myself, I have found the ability to be more outgoing and proactive with making plans. Sometimes you truly have to be if you want them to follow through. I have found that sometimes schedules will conflict- for months- but if the friendship is true and genuine, then you can pick up right where you left off. I have found that some days my body wants to stay in bed until the afternoon, and that it is okay because my body deserves it. I have found that keeping a big calendar on my wall helps me to stay organized with what I have to do and when something is due. While college material is a challenge, taking the initiative to keep track of your assignments and complete them on time is an even bigger one. Something that I am constantly losing and finding is inspiration for creativity. Some days I find it through social media while other days I cannot. Lately I’ve found a lot of inspiration within this Earth: nature, cities, humans- you name it. While I may not have the time or materials to pursue some of my ideas, I DO write everything inside of a journal. The things I see, the things I love, ideas, goals- they’re all written within the pages of this journal. I’ve found that this alone keeps my creativity/inspiration in check. Something else that has helped me is this blog! I set a tiny goal to post material at least once a week, and it truly does wonders for me. It keeps my passion for creativity alive and thriving. As much as I post for others I am very much doing it for myself, as well.

And I guess that’s the most notable thing that I’ve found: that you come first. That as much as you may lose yourself, you will surely find yourself again. Because these ups and these downs are what make you, YOU. Because this life is all about learning- about losing yourself in the things that you love, but finding yourself in them, too.

lost & found

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